Kyoya's Diary
by elisalizzbeth
Summary: A character Diary for Kyoya. It contains random people from ouran and no romance prob depends how im feeling when I write it ! Enjoy! :
1. Entry 1

Dear (sigh) Dan

I spent all day with Tamaki at the beach having some 'buddy' time when he gave me you and told me to write down my inner-most feelings to share with my children when I'm old. As much as I despise the idea I decided to play along. If I wish to please my father I believe I have to stay around this fool for a while longer. The fool told me to come up with a name for you and Dan was the best I could manage at the time. My sincerest apologies.

Anyway, we went to the beach and got some fish and chips, candy floss and doughnuts. I really do hate doughnuts, but as he put it "Lighten up, it's only a little bit of dough and sugar!" I really do hate that doofus! Doughnuts are a ring of pure evil carbs! How does he expect me to keep my glorious body as sexy as it is now while eating all of that junk! I don't have a clue in hell how he manages it! Not that I think he's sexy, because I don't!

I'm now going to go and find my Tamaki voodoo doll and stab it with safety pins while maniacally laughing to my teddy bear!  
Don't judge me!

Kyoya


	2. Entry 2

Dear Dan

It's Monday so I was at school today. I didn't have a very eventful day. Honey ate cake, Hikaru and Koaru sat 'flirting' with each other, Mori stayed silent, Haruhi sat and... did whatever she normally does and Tamaki ran around being the worlds biggest doofus. So a pretty normal day. I asked Haruhi if I could take photos of her and photo shop them to make books but she refused. She makes it so hard for me to make profit from her. I resorted to selling her mechanical pencils which, surprisingly fetched a good price. Haruhi wasn't happy though.

After school Tamaki rang and asked me when Haruhi's birthday is. I immediately put the phone down and once again reached for my voodoo doll. I felt better in no time.

Kyoya  
P.S I'm still plotting my revenge on Tamaki for making me eat those doughnuts.


	3. Entry 3

Dear Dan

My plan came together today. I brought Tamaki round to my house after school. I told him to go and wait in my room for me while I got drinks for us. But I didn't tell him that I'd killed and cooked 1000 snails and laid them out in my room.

I think I may have gone a bit too far but I wouldn't have minded, IF IT HAD WORKED! Turns out Tamaki loves snails! He asked me whether it was an early birthday present! I would never spend so much money on that jerk! I do know why he would ever think that! He really is clueless! I know he's one of the big businesses my father associates with next air but seriously, can't he see my pain!

If only I was just gonna inherit a company. I should probably carry on babysitting Tamaki. And I should probably plot some revenge that might actually work.

Kyoya


	4. Entry 4

Dear Dan

Revenge is a lot harder than I thought, Dan. It seems Tamaki doesn't despise anything! I told him that I had a form for him to fill in. He filled it in but he only put 'the twins' for his dislikes! How stupid do you get! I thought of killing a puppy and laying it on the front step of his house but... I don't think I could do it! Puppies are irresistable! They're adorable! :3

Today I started planning our big Christmas ball. It's so much work for something so tedious! All you do is dance. And Tamaki had the nerve to 'demand' that I have fun. He even 'forbid' me from bringing my calculator! I can't leave Callum behind!

Anyway I should probably go to sleep beauty rest and stuff!

Kyoya


	5. Entry 5

Dear Dan

Tamaki rang me in the middle of the night to ask me if we could all go to the beach tomorrow! What an insensitive jerk! I swear he doesn't sleep! He has some serious problems! The voodoo doll came out again tonight. Anyway we decided to go to the beach.

Tamaki, being over protective brought... of all things... a dog lead! Yeah a dog lead! He told Haruhi that he wouldn't have her falling off another cliff so to make sure she had to wear the lead. Turns out leads don't help if the person holding the other end is as sturdy as a pillow. Haruhi fell off the cliff and Tamaki got yanked off with her. I had to really try not to burst out laughing! It was soooo funny!

Got nowhere with the Christmas Ball.

Kyoya


	6. Entry 6

Dear Dan

I made a start on the Christmas ball. Tamaki decided on the theme golden snow. He thought it sounded 'magical'. It's not prom! It's a stupid dance that now has a stupid theme and stupid people coming! But my anger problems won't come into this. It's for the girls. We have also ordered a magnificent golden fountain and 'it' insisted that snow FROM THE NORTH POLE be shipped here, melted and used in the fountain! He's also said that a special chocolate fountain, shape to be decided, be made out of gold! He's so stupid!

My Tamaki Voodoo doll, the one I stick safety pins in, was demolished by my beaver Sydney! I'm so angry with Tamaki and I have no release!

I'd better get back to the host club or they will think I have some sort of bladder problem. I have taken a while to write all this. WHY AM I SO STUPID!

BYE!

P.S If I'm in jail next time I write, Tamaki may be dead! And can you please bail me out!


	7. Entry 7

Dear Dan

Day 2 of not being able to unleash my anger. I have ruined my bedroom! The windows had to be replace along with my bed, chest of draws and floor. I sort of punched them until they were obliterated! I don't know how I've coped this long?

Mr. Thicket ordered yet another ridiculous thing for the Christmas ball! A solid gold table, carved into an intricate snowflake shape and on each table a host's name with be engraved.

He's expecting me to work miracles! We don't have enough money! I'm going to have to sell Tamaki's organs to pay for all of this! On second thoughts he can spend away! See if I care when we have to carve his body up and cover the table in his blood. Of course we'd have to do it while he's awake so we can show him his organs before they get sent away. I would store all his blood in a jar and put it by the side of my bed and when I'm upset U could look at it and laugh! Mwa ha ha Mwa ha ha! He he he he he!

Oh, I got a bit off track there. I can dream!  
Gtg anyway now bye!

Kyoya


	8. Entry 8

Dear Dan

Tamaki cut spending a bit so, unfortunately, we can't sell his organs. Anyway I have a feeling I would have got expelled if his dad had found out, and probably put in jail. Oh, wait, rich people don't go to jail. Had a commoners moment there!

The winter ball is going well. He hasn't ordered anything over the top recently. Just plastic cups and plates no OTT gold stuff or anything.

I got a new Tamaki voodoo doll! I'm ecstatic! I got to stabbing it right away and made loads and loads of holes in it so much stress relief!

Bye!  
Kyoya


	9. Entry 9

Dear Dan

I am exhausted! Tamaki invited himself to sleep at my house last night. He kept me up ALL night whining on and on about the stupid ball. He nearly killed me! Turns out he isn't done with ordering stupid stuff either. Today he ordered a snowflake from the North Pole preserved in special jelly and kept in glass for EVERY, SINGLE guest! He's ridiculous!

Hikaru has a girlfriend! She's called Eliza! She's not from Ouran so we don't know her much but she sounds nice. However, he's ruining our business! None of the girls want to spend time with a guy with a girlfriend! It sucks so much. I bought material and made a Hikaru voodoo doll! It's just as good as my Tamaki one!  
Anyway I have together some sleep!

Kyoya


	10. Entry 10

Dear Dan

I bought a display case today! I'm using it to keep my Tamaki and Hikaru voodoo dolls in! Lover boy's doll is even more destroyed than thick master's is! I just got really annoyed with him when he sat and talked to a girl about his girlfriend all day! I'm afraid that girl won't ever return. I HATE Hikaru!

Thick master's snowflakes arrived and I have to admit that they look quite good. He says that he's sorry about all the overspending but he really likes winter and balls so this is his 'dream'. I had to forgive him which resulted in another stabbing session.

I'm considering committing suicide because hell can't be worse than this! Got to draw up seating arrangements now!

Kyoya


	11. Entry 11

Dear Dan

My suicide failed epically! I went to jump off the cliff into the sea on my beach and I did. However, 'it' was here! He jumped in and resuscitated me! Then my dad had to go and thank him! I then tried to poison myself but the servant sipped my tea and died! The cheek! I would try and hang myself but my neck it strong, muscular and practically perfect so it would be a very slow painful death. Normally I enjoy slow painful deaths but not when I'm the one slowly and painfully dying!

After my many suicide attempts I managed to crack down and get the Golden Snow Ball (next Thursday) ready! I hate to say this and, I really do, but it actually looks quite good! We have decided on a golden snowflake hanging, door thingy for the guests to enter through. I also made winter themed picture books for the guests to buy so we can get the ridiculous amount of money we spent back.

I need my energy for the mini cruise we are going on tomorrow! Not going to be fun, it's all of us!

Kyoya


	12. Entry 12

Dear Dan

I'm having a surprisingly relaxing day considering I'm stuck on a boat with the most annoying group of people in the world! We got on early morning and settled into our cabins before making our way to the pool. We had to entertain guests unfortunately so I swam a bit until they all decided to go and have a party in the bar lounge. As I don't enjoy alcohol I stayed out here in the jacuzzi. It's very refreshing! I'm enjoying myself for once!

The Christmas ball is all ready for Thursday and I'm so pleased that we won't spend anymore large sums of money! As amazing as I am at maths I don't think even I can cope with another round of that again!

Got to go now! I don't want to get you wet when the bubbles come on!

Kyoya  
P.S you're the best friend anyone could ask for!


	13. Entry 13

Dear Dan

It's the ball tonight and I'm really excited! I thought I'd get really really bored so I put two bottles of vodka in the fruit punch! I can't wait to see what everyone does when they are drunk. Of course I won't be having any because I'm a sophisticated young man! They are going to make fools of themselves!

Hikaru is still going out with Eliza! He even had the nerve to invite her and she had the nerve to say yes! I've made a doll for her now! I'm making a good collection! I considered making one for every member of the host club but I know I could never stab Honey! He's adorable. I have a cute side as well! I'm only human after all. If only I could just be pure evil, I would!

I have to get ready now I will tell you what happened later!

Kyoya


	14. Entry 14

Dear Dan

I am lucky to be writing to you tonight. I nearly died in a torrent of ice cold arctic water! If only God listened to my prayers and had let Tamaki die today. I feel that the world would be safer without him, however, no such luck. I may have to do the world's dirty work for it. TAMAKI MIST DIE!

We were all very excited about the ball, even I was which is a change. Tamaki told us he had one last surprise. I, naturally, was dreading it. I know what he's like so I knew it would somehow create a disaster, no one believed me though. The surprise was that he had shipped tons of snow to sprinkle on the guests throughout the night! I was horrified but everyone else was amazed so I went with it.

The night was going fine until the 'grand finale!' The ballerina's were beautiful and it looked amazing but then... they came on! That dipsticky dooche bag had got fire eaters! They weren't even good ones and they dropped the fire on the only bit off floor showing melting the snow and burning the hall!

Oh! I can't bear to think about it any longer, bye.

Kyoya


	15. Entry 15

Dear Dan

I've now recovered from my near death experience so I'm back! I've created a new plan to get both Tamaki and Hikaru! I'm going to tell Tamaki that Hikaru and Eliza have broken up. Him, being Tamaki, will try to woo her. When Hikaru sees he breaks up with Eliza and beats Tamaki senseless! Hikaru's all depressed and Tamaki's been beaten up! Yes, I win!

I have started making everyone else a voodoo doll! I decided to make Honey one but not use it! I'm not a girl sewing all these dolls before you say anything. You can't even talk! What am I on?

Bye Kyoya


	16. Entry 16

Dear Dan

My fool proof plan wasn't so fool proof after all. It failed again because I thought the worst of Tamaki. He actually went and asked Hikaru if he was okay! Really big misjudge of character. He then told Hikaru what had happened and they both glared at me and walked away.

I'm checking every move I make just in case they decide to strike. I'm not assuming anything this time just in case they... well I don't see the benefits but I'm sure there are some. I'll keep you with me on case they cage me up.

Kyoya


	17. Entry 17

Dear Dan

They caged me! They actually caged me! I was sat on my chair in the club room and they dropped a cage down on my head and as I tried to move my arms they shot out ropes from the back of the chair and tied me down! I'm now locked in here with you (You're being written in with my tongue).

It's dark and I'm really cold and bored they're so cruel!

Kyoya (alone)


	18. Entry 18

Dear Dan

Day 2 of torture! They've taken away my manly make-up. I have bags under my eyes from the sleepless night they made me have last night and I can't do anything! They put a black sheet over the cage I'm in and took away my chair. They've been moving me around and I have no clue where I am.

It's also way too warm in here too, I had to take of my shirt. I'm actually scared of what they're going to do to me!

Help!

Kyoya (Scared)


	19. Entry 19

Dear Dan

Day 3 - The worst!

They'd rolled me out into the square at the front of the school. As everyone started arriving they pulled off the cover and unleashed the beast that is... the morning Kyoya!

I looked disgusting! I had none of my guy make-up on, I had bed head (Even though I haven't been in bed!), and I was slumped over in the cage and exhausted.

As soon as everyone had seen me, and had their laugh, they gave me everything back but my pride had escaped me. As I walked down the school corridor everyone laughed at me. It was humiliating. I was considering joining chess club as my status can't get any worse.

The sad and common Kyoya


	20. Entry 20

Dear Dan

Now the whole fiasco with, the plan that failed is over, I decided to deal with the fact that Hikaru has a girlfriend. It's just a sad truth I can't change. However, we are now struggling with money for the club so I've had to take out the dirty pictures.

The 'dirty pictures' were taken in case of emergency and were only ever to be used when we were in serious debt. I still haven't fully paid off the winter bally thing and it turns out that they used the host club funds to pay for my torture cage!

I'm going to have to make the pictures into a book. It's the only thing I can do. I suppose they can all blame Tamaki. Light bulb! He he he he he!

Kyoya


	21. Entry 21

Dear Dan

This plan is working. Tamaki is falling to his doom at last. I told everyone that we were going have to cut down in everything because of all the extra spending Tamaki has been doing and they flipped.

Honey kicked him in the face because I told him we couldn't afford cake and Mori did the same. Hikaru and Kaoru screamed the house down because we couldn't buy more costumes and Haruhi slapped him and told him to not be so stupid. That probably killed him.

I'm so happy. It's working and soon he will commit suicide and I won't ever have to see his stupid face again.

Kyoya  
P.S- Mwa ha ha ha har!


	22. Entry 22

Dear Dan

Tamaki's sat in the corner mopping again. I never realised how much we... I mean... how much we... need him. I'm going to have to melt my tongue now.

He just sits there and doesn't talk to anyone do we're losing customers. We can't sell anything either. Everyone walks away from me as come near them. Even the boys won't talk to me. The twins stick their tongues out at me every time they walk past. (No loss there) Honey starts crying when he sees me and, although it's really cute, it breaks my cold, stone heart.

I'm going to have to fix it, aren't I. Okay then.

Kyoya


End file.
